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Intentional living

Minimalism

How Your Stuff Might Be Holding You Back

Posted on July 16, 2018

Whenever we get a new thing: a gadget, new outfit, fresh pair of shoes or new piece of decor for the house, we quickly think of all the things it will bring to us. It will complete the outfit for Saturday night, be the perfect finishing touch on a space in our home, or we can show off with our newly updated phone. Maybe the item will provide those things, but one thing that we often don’t take into consideration is how your stuff might be holding you back.

I’ve asked myself this question many times throughout my minimalism journey, with three pivotal times in particular coming to mind. The first being when I spent weeks decluttering my grandparents home after their passing. It was an emotionally draining period and impacted me more than ever I imagined in terms of how I wanted to live my own life. The stuff they may have been bought with the intention to bring them joy, but there was so much of it and I am sure a lot of it they had forgotten they even had.

The second was when I first discovered Minimalism about three years ago which changed my relationship with stuff on a huge scale when I started to see how my own stuff had been holding me back rather than adding value to my life.

The third was a very recent occasions, the past few weeks in fact, as I assisted family downsize their possessions, ready for a big move. I watched how weeks turned into months of packing and decluttering, up until the last minute and how much of a strain it was on everyone involved.

These three occasions drastically opened my eyes to the the ways our stuff might be holding us back. Here at 9 ways how your stuff might be holding you back.

1. Not utilising your space how you want
When you own too much you are restricted physically by everything cluttering up your rooms and spaces. Cupboards, drawers and rooms are filled with excess stuff, most likely with things you either don’t need or don’t even know you still have. Spaces that could be better utilised for your enjoyment. When your dining table is covered with paperwork and who knows how many weeks washing that you can’t use it to eat a meal with your family. Your stuff may be holding you back when your spare room, which you would love to set up a play area for your kids or an office but you can’t because of everything currently being stored in there that you’re holding onto just in case.

When we have too much stuff we can’t be as intentional with our space. And so, by consequence we place limits on ourselves enjoying the space that we have and miss out on what the original intention of the space was.

2. Excess stuff can be detrimental to your mental well-being
You may not realise it and believe your stuff brings you immense happiness, but your stuff is most likely causing you stress and anxiety. There is the stress that hits you when you open a packed cupboard, where everything falls out in a mess. Stress when you can’t find something you need because nothing has a place and you can’t remember where you last left it. We’ve all been there. As well as stress that comes from paying for your impulse purchases and watching that debt spiral out of control. When something as simple as trying to cook dinner with clutter everywhere on your bench top is enough to add frustration on a daily basis.

Your stuff may be holding you back when with clutter, chaos, and debt. and all the weight that comes with those things. These are things we learn to live with over time, and can easily become the norm in our lives. We get used to our environment and don’t realise how much stress our excess stuff is causing us but over time they can impede our mental well-being.

3. We are consumed by our stuff.

Sometimes we are distracted from what is more important in life by our stuff. Instead of doing things that add value like learning a new skill, creating or volunteering we spend time maintaining and cleaning our excess stuff – the mountain of washing, the McMansion, or just standing in our bedroom trying to find an outfit we love.

Instead of spending the day with family and friends making memories, we are trapped inside a mall looking for the next bargain or fashion score to post on Instagram. When we let our stuff consume us and take priority in our lives we let our stuff hold us back.

4. When we put our stuff before relationships

Have you ever moved home to somewhere distant and not had the time to spend with loved ones before you leave? Did your stuff and packing consume all your free time leading up to your move date? Have you spent all your money on new outfits or something else you enjoy or maybe just bought on impulse, and had to say no to visiting family because you had no money left over. Or couldn’t pay your kids soccer registration because you didn’t plan ahead and kept spending. Do you work long hours to pay for the big house, with the fancy furniture and the latest cars but don’t have time to see your partner and kids? These are all examples of how your stuff might be holding you back from what you believe is important.

The next time you are at the shops or shopping online, ask yourself this:

‘If I spent less on _(insert you main spending vice here)_, how could I use the savings to better my life and relationships.

As minimalist blogger Courney Carver says choose love over stuff. You may find that when you focus on strengthening or building new and old relationships that there isn’t as big a void to fill with stuff anymore and most often your family would chose you over those other comforts.

5. When our stuff embarrasses us

Before I discovered minimalism I was mortified at the thought of having last minute visitors. At any given time we could have stuff all over our house and that wasn’t something I was prepared to share with anyone.

Your stuff may be holding you back too from living a full life. Maybe you have declined visitors to your home because your house was too messy and the thought of not having at least a few hours to clean, would cause you so much stress and embarrassment. So you miss out on the experience of having family or friends over. Or you might have even said no to your kids friend staying over because you are embarrassed by the clutter and want to avoid them and their parents seeing the state of your house. So your children miss out on the fun of a sleep over.

When we let our clutter dictate who we can and can’t have over we are held back by our stuff. Decluttering your home and paring down our stuff to the essentials, can make last minute tidying a breeze and unexpected visitors a joy rather than a source of embarrassment.

6. We we lose opportunities.
Our stuff can keep us from pursuing new opportunities. When we have too much stuff we can pass up life changing events. An opportunity to move interstate or overseas when a dream job opportunity comes up could be missed. If you’ve always dreamed of buying an RV so you can travel around Australia or wherever takes your fancy, you might again rule out that dream just thinking about the downsizing process that lay ahead. You’ve found the perfect apartment with amazing amenities in an ideal location but again you pass, knowing you need a 5 bedroom home to store all your stuff. Your stuff may be holding you back if you are saying no to things that you truly want to do.

Having stuff we love can add value to our lives, but when we prioritise our stuff, we can end up saying no to more important opportunities that arise and start putting our things above our happiness and dreams.

7. Wasted money
Let’s face it, looking back at what we buy a lot of it is unnecessary and wasted money. The amount being spent can go unnoticed year after year if it is not being monitored. We can often find ourselves spending money on things without intention that could have gone to more valuable pursuits such as paying off your mortgage early or investing for your retirement.

And without a plan in place to pay off debt, and plan for retirement it may seem like we have the extra cash to splash around. But unfortunately too many people realise too late how important it is to pay down debt, save and plan for the future – well before the future has arrived.

Of course we all want nice things and to enjoy the fruits of our labour, but before you hit the shops with your most recent pay cheque, move some of your cash to your savings and retirement accounts and give yourself the best of both world – Fun with a side of Financial Freedom.

8. When our stuff makes us lose valuable time
We often only look at the price tag of a new item, without giving a thought to the true costs Most importantly, our time. The more we buy the more time we are giving up. Let’s break it down. There is the time spent earning the money. Time spent researching a product or finding the perfect item. Shopping in store or online. The time spent unboxing your new purchase, setting it up or assembling it, washing it… you get the idea.

And that’s just getting the item ready for use. Soon we lose more time to maintaining an item, dusting or cleaning and repairing it. When we move home we spend more time packing and unpacking all those items. Each thing we bring into our house has an additional price on it not built into the cost and it is something we can never get back.

And then on top of all that lost time, we have lost that time to more important uses. Our time opportunity cost. Less time to spend with family, less time to learn a new skill or partake in a new hobby and less down time to enjoy our weekend.

9. The stress and burden on others
We shouldn’t forget the stress on family when it comes to our stuff. As I touched on above, when I was 25 my family and I had to prepare my grandparents homes for sale. It took us many weekends and many skip bins to get through their stuff. It’s really not something I want to do again (take note parents ;)) and certainly something I don’t want to burden others with one day. Of course we all will have things, but we should do our best to minimise them so our family are not burdened and forced to spend weeks and weeks on a painfully emotional process.

If you have adult children, keep them in mind when taking on more clutter. Don’t buying things unnecessarily and leave them the burden of clearing out your excess, particularly if you live far away. It will not only be emotionally painful for your family, but a huge time commitment which is difficult for people with full-time jobs and young family’s.

Do your loved ones a favour and review your stuff as you bring new items in. Decide what is important to you and what isn’t and do it whilst you have your health. It’s not going to be any less stressful or easier when you are approaching your 70s or 80s. Not to mention your kids will feel a lot better knowing that you have minimised and taken a load off their minds.

The stress may also just be in relation to your partner or children’s stuff being everywhere. If it is in excess and unable to be maintained in a tidy fashion it can cause additional stress, particularly for people that need a clean space to relax in. When we have too much stuff it can really impact our loved ones and cause them unhappiness, and no stuff is worth that. The next time your partner gets frustrated by your stuff, do them a favour and review what you no longer need. I guarantee it will make there day 🙂

This weeks comment question: How has your stuff held you back over the years? Have you missed out on doing things financially or following dreams? Let me know in the comments 🙂

[Photo: Juan Cruz Mountford]

If you found value in this post I would be super appreciative if you could share it with others who might also find value in it 🙂

Budgeting

How to Change Your Spendaholic Ways and Be More Intentional With Your Money

Posted on May 17, 2018

Do you want to change your spendaholic ways? Take the Spending Questionaire and find out how intentional a spender you are.

Have you ever found yourself browsing the mall out of boredom and walking out with more bags than you can carry? You get home and soon cringe at the pile of stuff thrown across your bed. You hang everything up in your wardrobe or fold it neatly in your drawers with the best intentions, not realising that you might not ever wear any of it.

Maybe you just love a good sale and can’t resist a buy one get one free offer. You walk out with two pairs of whatever you just bought thinking to yourself how great a deal it was even if though you know you didn’t need either of them.

You reach for your credit card, and with a quick tap, you’ve bought a new lipstick to add to the 20 others you have at home in your bathroom drawers.

Your once new car is now seven years old and you might have finally paid it off. You have a spare $300 a month freed up to do whatever you want with it… Maybe you’ll save it up for a rainy day fund or put it towards that holiday you’ve been wanting to take the family on. But some of you will quickly go out and buy another new car with a new repayment to go with it. After all, you’ve grown used to having a car payment so what’s the difference right?

If you can relate to any of the above occasions these could indicate that you may be spending your money without intention.

Of course, when we are bombarded with advertisements wherever we look, it can be hard to recognise problem spending patterns until you stop and consider your spending habits and their impact on your finances and maybe even those close to you.

If you appreciate a new handbag or new camera lens, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We all work hard and deserve something we love or enjoy every now and then – of course, as long as we can afford it. That is, we can pay for it in cash or at least pay off the credit card in full when the payment is due.

But that’s usually not the case.

We can all so easily pull out our credit cards to get that must-have new item today rather than waiting until we save up for it. We justify our spending because we can afford the repayments, but this might not always be the case. Our unintentional spending can overtime blow up into much bigger financial problems.

A new subscription or pair of shoes here and there is manageable, but when spending becomes a regular, impulsive, and unintentional habit we can find ourselves in a financial situation that can be very difficult to get out of.

Take the Minimise With Me Spending Questionaire to see if you might need to get more intentional with your spending habits.

take the spending questionnaire

Some tell tale signs you could be a spendaholic

These are some signs that you may need to adjust your spending habits and curb your spendaholic behaviour:

you earn good money but have nothing to show for it
you often find yourself at the mall or shopping online in your spare time or to alleviate boredom
you list shopping as a main hobby of yours
you shop socially, with your friends regularly
you have mounting credit card debt
you don’t remember what your credit card debt was for
you’re running out of space in your home, potentially looking into additional storage or upsizing your home
you often find yourself buying things on sale just because it was cheap but have no idea where you will store it or if you even need it
you feel guilt after a big shopping spree
you hide what you are buying from your loved ones
your spending causes arguments with your spouse, children or other loved ones.

If the above examples sound like you it may be time to reassess your shopping habits and curb your excess spending. It’s important to acknowledge that it’s not just yourself that you are harming. You may not realise it, but your shopping or spending addiction could be harming those around you such as:

causing a partner or family stress via clutter or increasing debt. Maybe your children are aware of your lack of financial self-discipline and they spend their days worrying about your quality of life in retirement or your parents worry about your ability to pay your day to day bills when you move out of home.
depriving yourself and loved ones of things that add value like experiences and a family vacation when all your money goes on stuff and to ever increasing debt repayments. Or even depriving them of the basic necessities like power because you couldn’t pay the bill.
finding it harder to make ends meet because you’re outspending your earnings and in turn having to work more and more to keep up.
setting your children up with the expectation of a life of instant gratification and the financial woes and unhappiness that come with that.
hurting yourself in terms of looking for fulfillment in your shopping trips rather than in more meaningful pursuits like following your passions, personal growth and achievement and strengthening your close relationships.

Change Your Spendaholic Ways

If you identify with any of the above scenarios and feel that you could minimise your spending and be a more mindful spender, here are 10 Ways to Change Your Spendaholic Ways and Be More Intentional With Your Money.

1. Shop with a grocery list and meal plan
One of the biggest budget leaks and opportunities to change your spendaholic ways can be your grocery budget. It can easily add up to $500 or more a month and we all love our food! Instead of feeling guilty again at all the random stuff you threw into your trolley, go prepared. Writing your shopping list and meal plan before you have even stepped foot in the store is a great way to cut down on impulse buys and go over your shopping budget. Make a game of it and set yourself a challenge to try and stay under a certain weekly dollar amount with your grocery shop each week. And don’t be afraid to try the discounted home brand ranges. They can often be as good as the regular brands and save you lots week to week.

2. Avoid the shops
Create new habits and stop shopping every time you think you want or need something. You’re not going to stop breathing if you don’t have what you want right now. Slowly build up a list of items that you need or want and give yourself time to truly consider if you really do want those items before you hit buy. You might find the next morning or week you have completely forgotten what you even had in your cart.

Only go to the shop once to get those items. You’ll be so busy getting everything off your list that you won’t have time to spend browsing the aisles. Eventually, you will develop a habit of running in, grabbing your list and running out. Once you see how much time and money it will save you. you’ll change your spendaholic ways in no time!

3. Try a no-spend challenge
A great way to reprogram old spending habits is to take on a no spend month challenge. Make a list of any approved purchases for the month ahead and commit to only buying those or consumables and food. Anything else you want will have to wait a few weeks. Do it with a friend for moral support. Make it a little more fun by seeing who can spend the least amount of money that month.

4. Pause and research before you buy
Have you ever bought something in a rush only to realise that it was cheaper somewhere else? Or regretting that you even bought it because you knew you didn’t really need it? In order to change your spendaholic ways you need to recognise when you are buying on impulse and put the brakes on.

Think of how much you could save over the next year if you just waited 24 hours before making each purchase. If that’s too much of an ask, take a walk or go and have some lunch. If you really want that item you will make the effort to go back to the store. It’s a small barrier to your impulse buying for something you probably don’t need.

Before you hit the Buy it Now button take a day to think over what you are buying and give yourself time to consider if that item is the best fit for you. Don’t forget to do your research and look into product reviews to make sure it is a quality product and ask these 7 questions to make sure you are making an informed decision before you part with your hard-earned cash.

5. Find a new hobby
Too often we can find ourselves shopping as a form of entertainment. We go out with our best friends looking for a new outfit and shoes to match, it’s what we’ve always done. Or we wind up at the shops on our lunch breaks spending money as we have nothing better to do. If you are heading to the shops looking for entertainment or freedom from boredom it’s probably time you got yourself a new hobby.

Think of all the things you could be doing with that time and money. Instead of spending all your money at the mall find your passion. It might even be something that costs money but will at least be something you are spending intentionally on. Try reading more, catching up with friends in the outdoors, learn to sew, or sign up for a new class. Fill your time with things that add value to you like exercise, volunteering, or learning. There are many things you could be doing that are more fun than being locked away in some change room for the day.

6. Learn to value yourself and experiences over things
So many of us have been stuck in a mindset where we derive our self-worth from what we own or wear. The brands on our shirts, the luxury car, and McMansion we live in are now deemed so necessary that we will go into tens of thousands of debt or more in order to have them to show off to others and fit in.

We could all stand to worry less about what people think of the car we drive or how much our handbag costs and focus on what really matters. When we derive our value from the things that truly matter – our relationships, passions, growth, and experiences, not just what we can buy, we can break the cycle of keeping up with the Jones and change our spendaholic ways. In turn, we can learn to be more mindful of what we are buying and redirect our money towards things that truly add value to us such as a class we enjoy or saving up for a trip on our bucket list.

7. Adopt a minimalist lifestyle
Minimalism is the pursuit of what is meaningful and removing what is not. It is a tool that can help you identify what truly makes you happy, which may be less than you think. I’ve personally sold, donated, and recycled 70% of our possessions over the past two years and this has shown us how little we need to be happy. Two years later and I am still finding things we can do without. By truly asking yourself what adds value to your life you can eliminate wasteful spending and better utilise your time and money on what is important to you.

Maybe you don’t need an overflowing wardrobe to feel stylish and put together and a smaller capsule wardrobe would be enough. Maybe you don’t need every single book you see in the bookstore with an interesting plot and instead, you can order it on your eReader when you have the time to read it. Minimalism can help you focus on the essential and eliminate the excess without depriving you of what you enjoy or need.

8. Identify one problem expense area in your life and start cutting it
Small changes can go a long way. Rather than trying to cut all expenditure at once, ask yourself what your biggest problem spending area is? The one that makes you feel the most guilt every time you blow your savings on it. Once you have identified that one area, work on reducing your expenditure. Don’t worry about the others for now, you’ll get to those in time, for now, we are just tackling the big fish.

Set yourself a new budget for that cost whether it’s coffee, clothing, weekend drinks, books, or whatever your vice is, and try and stick to your budget. It might be difficult for the first and second month but after a while, you will start to form new spending habits, and spending less on that area will feel less difficult. Once you have developed the habit of sticking to your budget set a new one for your next problem area and work on that. Over time you will gradually change your shopaholic ways and adapt to your new budget goals.

9. Limit your exposure to ads
If there’s anything that unravels your attempts to change your spendaholic ways it’s the constant subjection of advertising. Whether it’s on the radio, TV, YouTube, in your favourite magazines or online there are thousands of new products trying to nab your wallet contents. Within 15 seconds you are considering buying something you didn’t even know you needed. To reduce the chances of you stumbling upon something you probably don’t need, try and reduce exposure to as many advertisements as you can. Of course, it’s not easy to do as we are bombarded with these everywhere we turn but there are some helpful tips to reduce what you do see:

swap out cable and free to air TV for a subscription like Netflix that doesn’t have advertising
Unsubscribe from email newsletters that will tempt you with their sales updates and latest products
Stay out of the malls – if you can’t see a sale sign you won’t know it’s on
Limit reading of magazines that contain hundreds of advertisements and reach for a book or blog instead

10. Consider the opportunity cost
Every time we buy something we are using a resource, our money, that could be utilised elsewhere. Consider the opportunity cost if you really wanted to buy a new car. You could buy it for $30k or you could instead, buy one for $10k and invest the $20k. In 30 years that car will be long gone but had you invested the money at age 30 until age 60, at an 8% growth rate without adding a single dollar that money would now be worth $218k. Which one do you think future you would pick?

Maybe buying more stuff means you have to work longer hours in order to earn more money to keep up with your spending. The opportunity cost here is the lost time you have when you have to work more to bring in more money to cover those extra debt repayments or spending habits. When we spend money we lose out on time or future growth opportunities.

If you want to change your spendaholic ways consider when making those bigger purchases in particular, if that really is the best use of your money. If it is something that will really add value to your life and bring you joy then it’s okay to go ahead with the purchase if you can afford it, but if it’s something that won’t really make a lasting benefit to you think again before you hand your card over.

Want more help?

For extra resources to see if you might need to reevaluate your spending habits Take my Spending Questionaire, a list of 30 Questions to help you know if you are Spending Intentionally or have room for improvement.

You may also like to check out 17 Ways to Reduce Mindless Consumption in Your Life for some additional tips on how to minimise any excessive spending and spend your money more intentionally.

This week’s comment question: What have you found has been the most helpful way to Reduce Your Spendaholic Ways and allowed You to Spend Your Money More Intentionally. Share your tips and what you have found worked for you in the comments below 🙂

If you found value in this post I would be super appreciative if you could share it with others who might also find value in it 🙂

[Photo: Tristan Colangelo, Unsplash.com]

[Photo: Robin-Spielmann, Unsplash.com]

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